Makayla's Heart and Inner Beauty

Well it is 7 a.m. on a Saturday morning and I could be sleeping but no!!! I wake up and my mind is full of thoughts of Makayla and her inner beauty...specifically her relationship with her Great Grandma Hall. It is probably because of some of the things that she did this week (see below). I could not go back to sleep. I have always wanted to keep a journal...maybe that is what this blog may include....especially since I just learned from my good friend Laura that you can have them printed and bound like a book! How cool!

AUGUST 1999 - First time meeting Great Grandma

August 2006 at Holzman Family Rib Roast

Some history....Makayla was Great Grandma Halls favorite. Nothing against the rest of the grandchildren but it was simply true. Grandma went to heaven on January 30, 2008. Since Grandma's funeral we have had many many days of tears because of missing Grandma and wondering how she is doing. It is at these times that I see, hear, and feel the inner beauty of my daughter.

A lot of people talked about their relationship at Grandmas funeral. When we would visit Ohio (Grandma Hall lived with my Mom for the last 3 1/2 years), they would sit and do crossword puzzles together, sit next to each other at every meal, Makayla would sit on her lap when she read the newspaper, Grandma would call Makayla "my girl"... they just gravitated to each other. Sometimes we would wake up in the morning and Makayla would be missing. We would find her in Grams bed snuggled up together. Now understand Grandma Hall was on 100% oxygen the last few years and was getting more frail so Makayla made sure she was very careful. They would sit together for hours.

She still has dreams of doing things with Grandma. The last time we spent with Grandma was at a nursing home. She had been in the hospital for pneumonia and was in transition. What did Makayla do....climbed right in bed with Gram.

On the top of Makayla's Santa wish list this year was to be able to see Grandma Hall one more time. When we pass any cemetery the question is "Mom do you think Grandma is doing ok?" She cried on our way to her new school this week because we turned on the radio and "Amazing Grace" was playing. This song was one of Grams favorites and was played at the funeral. I told her that the reason it was playing was that Grandma was thinking of her and did not want her to be scared or nervous going to a new school. On the way home from school that day, Makayla asked "Do you think Grandma is proud of me because I did good today?" Absolutely I am sure she is!

We dried the great-grandmother bouquet from the funeral and have it hanging on a cross. It hangs in my room now but Makayla let us know this week that she thinks it would match better in her room now that her room has been re-painted. It will be hung above her dresser today.

There have been recent times that she keeps saying "I am so disappointed in myself." When I ask why? She said it is because she didn't say one last goodbye to Grandma before they closed the casket. She watched Luke give Grandma one more hug. She just could not do it. She wants one more hug....

My Grandmother never said "Goodbye" she always said "See you soon". We let Makayla know that "goodbyes" are not necessary because Gram will always live in her heart. She will always be with her.

We continue to teach her that Grandma is with God because she very much believed in God and His salvation. We know she is in heaven. That is why she would say "see you soon" she believed in eternal life (John 3:16). Luke is so confident in his faith that when Makayla gets sad he simply reminds her that Grandma is with God and is ok. Bennett & Marissa will comfort Makayla - it is so special. Marissa will sit with Makayla and they will cry together. It is short but so intense.

It is almost a year since Gram left us.....Gram - we all miss you and love you!

Thank you God for Grandma Hall

and for Makayla and her inner beauty.